A Brief Note from your Friendly Neighborhood Naked Investigator

24 Dec

.

I have worked my last bit of professional sneaky for the year that was 2012. So…

If 37 housekeepers in your hotel have all filed worker’s comp claims on the same day…

If your husband claims that the Indiana Middle-Managers Association has called an emergency conference in Vegas this weekend and he is bringing his secretary along as an expert in flow charts…

If you fell in love with Chrystalle at Little Darlings while you were in town for the convention and you need to get her a letter (“She should be easy to find. She’s blonde, about 5’6″, with big boobs, a butterfly tattoo on her back and a sternum piercing.”)…

If you need your ex located “Just to see how he turned out”…

If you got rolled by a hooker and you need to try to find that watch grandpa brought back from the war but you can’t call the cops cause then you-know-who will find out…

And above all…

If you need a subpoena served…

Well you’re gonna have to call somebody else because I do not care… and I will not be answering my phone again until January 2nd.

Merry Christmas.

Happy New Year.

Good luck.

© 2012 Roy Guill, The Naked Investigator

Advertisements

2 Responses to “A Brief Note from your Friendly Neighborhood Naked Investigator”

  1. Andi Newton December 24, 2012 at 1:28 pm #

    Have a wonderful Christmas!

    • the naked investigator December 24, 2012 at 1:42 pm #

      Thank you! To you as well! (Been reading Neil Gaiman short stories and thinking about how amazing it is that you write for a living!)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: